Human Flesh

Please learn from me.
Por Favor

When going to pick out paint color
Do not
I repeat
do not
become capitavated by the shades name.

I was.

Coral Stone.

Pretty sounding?
Very.
It should have been called

Human flesh.

Because
Then I would have kindly put down the sample and walked away.

With out further ado-

Our human flesh toyroom.

Before:
After:
[it does look better than 1991 spongy rose]
but may cause you to want to lick or chew your hand repeatedly.
In other news: an end to my quest.
I have found the
most delicious
cheap
Vietnamese
Pho
Ive ever had.
I was so damn happy.
[please admire the food, not the face thats inhaling it]
Just look at the soup for the Gods!
I suggest you scout your area of living for the
biggest or smallest
hole in the wall
scary looking
Vietnamese Restaurant
and go.
You wont regret it.

-For the Aunts-
Proof that I have toad faces for children.

noted items
*I did not purchase that Husker jersey- nor will I ever
*never buy a huge plastic wand- it will turn into a weapon
*we need to rake
*by we- I mean Paul
*I better find a witch costume
*and hide the jersey

{Monday Meanderings}

Bible Study.... Listen to Paul's daily general religious issues ;)

Memory Verse...---

Husband Encouragement...
* Paul is on nights this week- which means no squawking like a parrot (name that tv show)
* Trick him into thinking raking the leaves will be fun.
* Wash all work clothes, and pack lunches in a timely fashion

Train Them Up...
* Make a trip to the library, pay off fines, and rent Strawberry Shortcake- since Maya will not zip it with it.
* Encourage Asher to be more open at preschool. The kid is shy.

* Its red ribbon week at school. Which means crazy days. Which means Leah can get away with her crazy antic outfits- so let her :)
* Keep movie watching to a limited proportion- just like my salt ;)

Personal Goals...
*We have paint for the toy room- finally! The color-coral stone. Let it begin.
*Organize baby clothes into months and arrange in dresser.
* But first-find a dresser on craigslist for cheap!

New Habit of the Month...

*Vacuum ever-day.
*Keep shoes out of entry way.
*Sweep porch off regularly.

MUST Do...

*Make treats for ward trunk or treat.

*Not eat salt. :(

*Get packages in the mail.

*Take my vitamins.
*Research cameras- I'm in the market.

Zone...
*Toy room- de-toy, organize, paint.

Menu -

M- manicotti and broccoli
T- salmon, brown rice, snow peas

W- mac and cheese?

Th- birthday dinner somewhere.

F - chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes.

S - Kansas City- Halloween candy

Su- Kansas City- Halloween candy

FUN THINGS!

* Punkin patch with friends Tuesday.

* The big 29 for me.
* Trick or Treat with cousins this weekend in Kansas City!

* Of COURSE Chick-fil-A.
* Painting the toy room.

3 things I'm thankful for today...

1. The gorgeous Indian Summer we keep having.

2. Scentsy scents- Welcome Home, Cinnamon Vanilla, Sugar Cookie.

3. 1 week closer to baby Bertha

relapse

There was major relapse last night with the game of salt.
You see- in my need for salty and sweet I lost.
Big time.
I got the bright idea to make big fluffy soft sugar cookies with candy corn and m&ms and orange and green frosting.
In honor of fall of course.
Made them.
Devoured them.
Then needed salt.
BAD.

I piled a big plate full of Wavy Lays, pretzel crisps, carrots, pickles and heaps of onion dip.
Devoured it.
Remorse set in.
Went to bed at 830 pm.
Dreaming all night of what I had done.

A pregnant mind really messes with you.

Nightmares on 14th street.
Anacondas under my house.
Babies being born as cats.
That was eaten by the anaconda under the house.
Me looking like a sausage forever.
You know- things of that nature.

So I awoke with a new attitude.
And filled my plates accordingly.
apple juice and crushed ice all day long.

-no more anaconda dreams please-

Salt

Sunday
39 days to go
My body is overcome by b-i-g.
Say what you want about it being a beautiful natural thing.
Pelvic pain bites.

Bertha better be cute.
She better be worth it.
Cause this past Thursday
Dr Blume took away my salt.
And gave me blood pressure pills.

No more Queso
or Alfredo
or Wavy Lays

I went straight home and shoveled in 69 tootsie rolls.
Then watched as my phalanges and cheeks and chin inflated to balloons.

So I drank 6 bottles of water
and peed 85 times.

Then I vowed to meticulously take my vitamins.
And eat yogurt.

And be a good mom.

So I bought how to Train Your Dragon
Sprinkled cereal, fruit snacks, and popcorn around the house.
And took a nap.

See what happens when someone takes away your chips?
Green peppers strips just arent cutting it.

I need me some Chinese.
sodium infused garlic pepper beef please.
in 39 days.

here piggy piggy

Meet "bug bug"
A glass piggy bank that sat in Asher's room for a year or so..
He eventually filled up.

So today was the day.
The day to kill bug bug.
Fruity pebbles for dinner.
Toy room cleaned.
Bath time over.
Rooms picked up.
Its amazing what you can get kids to do when you bribe them with a hammer to smash something.
Try it sometime.

{Asher dressed appropriately}

The whole concept of a glass piggy bank is not the smartest.
Neither are the mothers who purchase them.
Glass shards, hammers, coins and greedy hands.
Not a good combo.

But we managed with only a few slivers in the hands.
Which were picked out in a timely fashion.

We sorted, and talked about what we could do with it all.
-Start a savings account
-Bury as pirate treasure by the tree
-Throw at each other
-Put in a new piggy bank
-Save for Christmas
-Go swimming
-Eat at Subway
-Buy skeletons to put in basement
-Or my personal favorite-Sonic Happy Hour

-Grand Total-
$89.20
That's a lot of route 44 cherry limeades!
boo ya.

The secret to small town living....

Find yourself some amazing|gorgeous|beautiful|talented friends

and
take advantage of their GREAT!
seriously.

These 3 beautiful ladies Kayleigh, Ashleigh, Melissa- just HAD to have a baby shower for Baby Bertha.
Admittedly I felt a little silly being this babe #4, but since Im a nimwad and threw everything baby out-
I reluctantly agreed.

So- they went to work.
I'm not kidding when I say these ladies are TALENT.
They all sewed and stitched and knitted things that even put my Grandmothers work to shame.
Beautiful blankets, bed sheets, hats, pillows, booties.
And Sarah- who isn't pictured since she was the photographer, is just as amazing with her camera.

They did not disappoint this pregnant lady with the food
Complete with chips and queso.
Yes I still love it so.

-mini-cupcakes-
these are evil.
you can eat 5 without thinking.
then eat five more without blinking.
Ask Maya- she did it :)

My girls
The toothless grin she loves to show off

Don't let this picture fool you-
She indeed did not sit quietly and eat.
"Avatar" her new self proclaimed name
Never sits quietly to eat.
She just plain never sits quietly. :)

But I still love her anyhow.
And this picture definitely makes me love love her.
Even if chocolate milk is spilled all over the backseat
Even if chewed gum is pulled into strings then left on the ground
Even if she can not go an hour with out putting on a swim suit
Even if she wakes me up at night with a puddle of pee in my sheets

Ive never been gifted a diaper cake.
Ill never take it apart.
It will sit on my mantle till Hoarders comes to clean.
Dang it- I don't have a mantle.

I owe everyone dinner- they gave me so much stuff.
I have no where to put any of it.

uh....not such a good look for me.
I blame it on the...
well...the last 7 months.
and queso.
and donuts.
and alfredo.

The rice game- much harder than its simple concept.

Thanks to all that came.
Love your guts.
Unfortunately- you make me want to stay here in this small town, in this cold state, in this no where near Target and Chick-fil-A place for a long little while.
Which goes against all plans of boycotting Nebraska and moving elsewhere...wink.