Aug 1998

You asked for it, here goes....

   It was a Saturday morning. I had just gotten home from an early morning dance practice at the high school and was ready to go back to bed when the phone rang. It was a boy. A {particular boy} I liked. And he was calling! So being as cool of a junior as I could be I answered the phone. We talked a bit about the football game the night before and then he asked if I wanted to go with him to do a job. What kind of job?  He said he couldn't tell me because if I found out, I wouldn't want to go. Hmm. Well of course I wanted to go with him so he wouldn't call the "other" girl.  I agreed and asked what time he was going to come and pick me up. He said he couldn't come and get me and that I'd have to go to his house. Which was weird, he always would come pick me up cause he loved driving his oh so cool Toyota Tacoma.  

So I got ready and went to his house. When I came up the drive way I saw the big ugly old black hearse sitting there. Oh great. He came out of his house grinning. What the heck is that? I asked.  He told me that we were going up to Bountiful Utah to pick up a body from a mortuary and bring it back to St. George. Sick. I wasn't going. No way. He could call the "other" girl to go with him.  Somehow he persuaded me into the situation and off we went. 

It was the middle of August, there was no air conditioning, and the hearse couldn't go past 60 mph. There we were, 2 high school kids in black death heading up the freeway. We had a little fun with the situation and went to a few McDonald's drive through's in rural Utah. People thought we were wack. It was funny. And every car that passed would stare and honk at us. 

We made it up to Bountiful and stopped at the intended Mortuary. When the mortician saw us, he laughed and asked us how we got talked into this. This {particular boys} brother worked for a mortuary in St George and would pay him to do his dirty work. We walked into the basement and in a small room lying on a table, was an older grey haired man with a sheet covering him. It was super freaky. And that's exactly how he ended up in the back. No clothes, no casket, just lying on a gurney with a sheet covering him. 

In the first few minutes on the road, the body slid up, hit the window and the sheet fell off. Dead weight hitting the window behind your head is a sound I will never forget. It made me want to throw up.  I made the {particular boy} climb in the back and cover him up. But every time we would go over a bump or an off ramp of the free way the body would slide all around the back seat. Poor Mr Broadhead.  We did our best to be respectful but still....

  It was around 11 pm when we made it back to St George. The mortuary was at the end of the boulevard and back then, the hot thing was to 'cruise the vard' on the weekends. It was pretty busy and every time we would stop at a light, people would yell and honk and give us a thumbs up.  Embarrassing.

~We accomplished the task and dear Mr Broadhead was laid to rest peacefully in the St George cemetery. 

~The {particular boy} and mines relationship sadly diminished that spring after Senior Ball.

~I now have the best date story to tell. 

~And... come to think about it, I never did get paid.