Toilet; A toilet, lavatory, water closet (WC), or loo is a plumbing fixture and disposal system primarily intended for the disposal of the bodily wastes: urine and fecal matter.
I have come to the conclusion that I dislike toilets. I am ever eternally greatful for this day and age to have a flushing toilet in my home but that being said I still dislike them.
This morning as I was cleaning my bathroom it got me thinking of why. And here are the reasons;
Kids love them. Why is this? Leah has been potty trained for a 8 plus months and I have never had a problem with her, until now. She is bound and determind to "wipe myself" not being the cleanest in the least. We have a wipe down session with Lysol wipes after this takes place everytime. All the while Ashers is watching intently with his little mind brewing about how "fun" this all looks. Not good.
The seats. I have never liked the carpet covers you put on the lids. Who wants carpet on the toilet seat? Does it make it nicer? Fancier? And the cushioned seats? Their job is just to soak up all the germs. {shivers}
Public Toilets. Kids are drawn to these as well. We live 30 seconds away from Jiffy Lube. I made sure that Leah did not need to pee before we changed the oil but once she saw a greasy worker exit the bathroom corridor that is all she wanted/needed, to pee in the bathroom that is taken care of by men, and greasy cigarette smoking men at that. Can you tell me how much protection I will get from a paper toilet seat cover in that bathroom?
Now, I am sure that toilets dont really like us either. Their job is about the worst. Disposing of things...I wont go there, being neglected to cleanings until we "have to", and seeing our tushes all day long. I wouldnt choose it for my job.
And on the subject of tushes.....you know you have gained to much weight when I am bending over cleaning the toilet and the sweet innocence of children in Asher reaches up to my behind patting the exposed skin and says "Baby, baby." I guess he meant well, and in his eyes it did look like the front of me.
So thank you water closets for all you do, but I still dislike you.
17 comments:
I have now been enlightened in new ways I never thought possible with toilets...thank you! Speaking of children drawn to them, when I was a wee little girl, I kept bringing a glass of H20 to my visiting aunt.......soon to be realized that I'm not tall enough to get to the sink.....an soon to be realized I was getting the H20 source from the toilet.....hope it was clean......woops!
Hilarious. I share your sentiments. I am especially fond of the skidmarks left by children sliding off the toilet when finished. Does wiping it up with toilet paper count as cleaning it off?
Tiffany...oh man, what a story! I bet that circulates some great laughs in your fam...
Krystal...yes it counts if it hasnt dried first :)
I'm still laughing my head off! Oh, how I miss being around Jaesi!
At least they don't charge you .50 cents to use the bathroom at Jiffy lube.... most of the public bathrooms here charge you or ask for a tip when you leave.... that is if it is "clean." Also, most of the public bathrooms here also request that you "Don't flush anything...even toilet paper!" So that leaves the bathrooms extra stinky due to the used TP in the trashbags or on the floor next to the toilet. With that said, I've seen more people peeing (men and women) on the sides of the roads here than in the toilets! They must not have any spare change. Talk about DISTGUSTING! As distgusting as it is... especially to a pregnant woman on a HOT, HUMID day, I'm also greatful to have them... The Charlie's bathroom sounds like the Marriott of toilets down here! HA HA! Great post!
Jilly....Im sorry. You crack me up though....The Charlies bathroom!!!!
I think I now see toilets in a new light! I am also laughing so hard I am almost crying! My dislike for toilets is right up there with yours! I would almost rather buy a new toilet than clean one! Only if there was a way!!! I was also thinking about the whole "public restroom" idea and how extremely gross it really is if you think hard enough about it! ugh....but we do what we gotta do! :)
Very clever. I am glad to hear that there is someone out there that dispises public restrooms as much as I do. My poor kids have been brain washed so much that when we pass a public restroom they point and say "cucky". I hate the moment we have to walk in, and if my kids have to go inside I tell them "don't touch anything." They freak me out.
oh man...is that what i have to look forward to in potty training? skid marks on the toilet seat? great post. always an interesting topic.
I am so with you on the lid covers...seriously are they necessary because my toliets arn't sporting them!
When I was in school studying interior design we had a whole lesson on how tacky/unsanitary toilet covers are. It was fabulous :)
You took potty talk to the blog, so funny! I hate public bathrooms... won't use them. I have been known to hold it for hours, not good when pregnant. And port-a-potties, won't even touch them. Held it for all 13.1 miles when I ran the half marathon vs. going in one.
I fear the day when my child has to go to the bathroom in public. I am sure to loose it
Haha! Everytime Chase poops on the potty he gets off to tell me to come see his "monster poops" Leaving a skid mark on the seat. I have been so annoyed with having to clean it off everytime!!!
Uggghhh...bathrooms are definately disgusting and my three year old, like yours, thinks he needs to pee in every store/place we go...it's like he just has to check out the different potties or something and how they compare to ours...yuck!
girlfriend. you need to find something else to talk about. this one maybe is annoying. YOU'VE TURNED INTO A WACK BLOGGER. think about it. we're worried. summer and himi
if you no like it...no read it...
Hear! Hear! Toilets are nasty! Thanks for the laughs!
Hilarious! I've never read anything before about toilets!!
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