A joke. This is a joke. My body is a big fat joke. Its been 6 days of miserable nursing and pumping. I dumped 4 precious ounces of milk down the drain this morning because it was the color of fruit punch. AHHH! It isn't getting better and there is nothing I can do about it, except stop nursing and I'll be damned if that happens. I'm not going through all of this just to give up. But I just want the pain to end. And poor baby M. is hungry and miserable too. Creams and potions aren't doing their work and I am thinking of becoming either as fat as a cow so I can pump gallons, or elect a mastectomy. Which one sounds funner?...
But, there is always tomorrow.
40 comments:
Are you using a double pump? Mine worked magic once I figured out it worked better doing both sides at once...I feel your pain. I pumped for 4 months straight...never again will I think EP'ing is better than trying harder to do it the real way!
oh man...was it this bad with the other two. it kills me to hear that you had to pour that liquid gold down the drain. good luck. i'm sure it will get better.
jaesi that was no joke. your sick. all of you mothers.
Nicole, no I need to invest in one.
Val, It was an on going saga with Asher too.
Kimi, Glad to hear you liked my joke. someday you will understand and I will laugh :)
I don't know if theres a place in your neck of the woods but down here in NN there's a place that lets you rent by the month. Sweet Reflections I think :) Tricare might cover you having one, they work wonders but who in their right mind wants to deal with Tricare?? I used to cry when I had to dump any, or once I spilt some and about had an anxiety attack. It was bad, no joke. Hang in there!
Oh Jaesi, I'm so sorry. The breastfeeding game seems like it should be so natural and automatic but A LOT of moms struggle. I know it sounds gross but in the nicu, we still feed the milk that has blood in it to the babies, it won't hurt them and you're right, it is precious. Have you talked to a lactation specialist, if not, I could have ours give you a call. Good luck.
I am so sorry you are experiencing some nursing woes! I don't have much advice to give other than to not beat yourself up about having to nurse if it's causing you a lot of stress and pain. Good luck and I hope things work out for you soon!
All I can say is invest in a good pump. If you are having more kids it is definitely worth it, if not it is worth it, because it is cheaper than buying formula. I found a brand new (everything was still sealed) Medela Pump In Style on Ebay 4 years ago and have used it every single time, and I would pump extra for Rice Cereal and all of that. I nursed both my kids for a year, and I had a lot of the same problems you are having. Also, I know it isn't the best. But, if you let yourself be topless for a little while and just air out, it helps too! My poor kids will get to see a showgirl all day after this baby comes. haha. Good luck!
Ashley, good to know about the blood. She isnt having problems nursing, its just this damn thrush. we keep giving it to each other.
Serena, you crack me up! I hope my kids wont have haunting memories of their mother walking around topless...because i do. not by choice though.
Oh man! I am glad to be done nursing!!! Have you tried the purple stuff for the thrush yet? That is the only thing that worked for us. make sure you are sterilizing all the binkis, bottle nipples, and anything that touches her mouth or your breast because it can be passed that way too. Good luck!
Because of Sydney's heart problems I pumped for the whole first year because she couldn't and then wouldn't nurse. Get a good double pump, one with suction control so that your poor boobies get a break and you still are giving your baby what she needs. A lower suction setting may take you longer to pump but it will be worth not having the bleeding nipples and the bloody milk. Keep trying and don't give up your baby needs your breast milk!
When we had thrush my OB gave me a prescription pill to take. You just take it once a week and it kills all the yeast bacteria. Worked like a charm (wish I would've called sooner!). He said that pill works the best because the thrush can be in your milk so no matter how well you sterilize everything it can still be passed to the baby's mouth through your milk. It's such a NIGHTMARE!
As for me... I conquered the thrush, now I just get clogged milk ducts about every other day. It's miserable. Jonas is almost 4 months, and I've had problems the WHOLE time... I might be done nursing soon!
I used a medela pump with all three of the kids and it worked wonders. I would just bleed and bleed but with the pump I didn't. I also tried all the creams and the only thing that made a difference was the pump. It is worth every penny. If you really want to keep her on breast milk you need to get one. It will get better. Just reading this makes me realize we really shouldn't have anymore kids. The memories are terrifying. I love you! Get a great pump!
Kristen, Im calling my doc asap about that pill. Is it just a antibiotic like amoxycillin?
Good advice girlies. Is this making any of you first timers nervous?....
OHHHH!!! I had cracks,bleeding,and thrush too and all I can say is Newman's Ointment did the trick for me, It is kind of like the antibiotic pill but it's a cream that has anti-microbial properties...it worked better for me than the purple stuff, but I totally know that different things work better for differnt people, anyway good luck and I'm sooo sorry...I feel your pain!
Oh Jaes!! it really is heartbreaking to pour breastmilk down the drain. After all your hard work! If a new double electric pump isn't in the budget, may I suggest donating your milk? At least in UT, when you sign up they give you a sweet electric pump with all the bells & whistles. Loved mine! And you just donate what you can, no quotas or anything. They used the milk at local NICU's and then some of them ship any extra to orphanages in Africa. Good feelings, helps your milk supply, good karma, free pump...are there any downsides? :) Anyway, good luck & don't give up!! It's gotta get better soon, right??
Oh man that sounds terrible. If it makes you feel better we never ever had any problems with it, not a one. Unless you count that at any given moment I had a supply for 10 babies... doesn't really seem that bad after I read everyone else's comments.
Anywhoo, I don't know how it is where you are but here a lot of lactation places rent out really nice pumps for dirt cheap, like $25 dollars for 6 months.
Best of luck to little Maya & you, and the girls!
Oh, I so feel your pain! There is nothing worse than cracked nipples. Honestly, it is so painful. Hopefully you can get over the thrush soon!
Oh, I so feel your pain! There is nothing worse than cracked nipples. Honestly, it is so painful. Hopefully you can get over the thrush soon!
POOR THING!! DEFINITELY ask your doctor about that pill, it's not amoxcicillin, it has another name, but you really only have to take one pill (MAYBE TWO?) and it takes care of it...I guess as long as you sterilize everything. I'm with everyone else too. I bought a cheap one-sided pump from wal-mart, then I borrowed a medela double pump from my sisters, and there was NO COMPARISON about how much gentler it was on the ol nips. WORTH the investment. Good luck, hang in there, we feel your pain.
Okay So I can't help ya with the breast feeding problems...haven't had to deal with that yet, but I read some of your post I have missed.
Love the new flip-flops.
Love even more your "short" hair: Honestly it was pretty cute and even better- how many girls can say they have shaved their head?
Leslie + Boyfriend =....I hope...he is super cute!
I am so sorry that is miserable!
Hi Jaesi, it's Jill (Wood)Cotten. I don't know if you remember me or not from school, but I just wanted to say hi. I ran across your blog and just wanted to tell you what an adorable family you have. I read you are having trouble breastfeeding. I have 2 little girls, so I have been through that and it sucks! With my 1st I wasn't producing enough and then after she would scream for 10 or 15 min. I would just have to give her a bottle. Then my 2nd, she did really well for a while, then I started to get cracked bleeding nipples and I just wanted to die. My doctor told me to try putting tea bags on my nipples, but that burns like heck, but did help a little. I just wanted to die. After I started getting mastides whatever that infections called I pumped like crazy and then just gave up. It is so hard. I feel so bad for you, and to have to dump that down the drain I probably would have cried. You would think breastfeeding would be easy, but it is definently not. Good luck! P.S. my friend told me if you get cracked nipples you can buy nipple guard that help.
Hang in there even though it sucks! With Carter I had a clogged duct that turned into an abscess. I had it drained by needle once, which didn't work, then ended up having 2 surgeries. It was NOT fun and the dr's all said I had to quit nursing. I for some reason, was determined not to. Having a home health nurse come and shove 3 yards of gauze into my boob every other day about did me in, but, ta da, I made it through and nursed Carter for 15 months! I have a really attractive scar but hey, who really sees it right!? My point, I understand your pain, and also your desire to not give up. Also, the poor little ones who dont understand and think we are mean neglectful mothers. Im sorry you are going through this and good luck! It WILL pass!
Jill, Hi! of course I remember you.
Melissa, I shouldnt even begin to complain compared to you!! I remember how miserable you were.
Just mind over matter right!
I'm so sad for you! I would have given up by now. You are one tough chickey! Hang in there.
Ummm... yes you are making me super nervous! Ouch is all I can say. I have heard about thrush obviously, but I don't think I pictured it this awful. Oh joy!! hehe :) Good luck and hopefully that pill will take care of it.
This is the Medela pump I am looking at buying. Only 12 more weeks for me - what does everyone think and recommend? http://www.target.com/Medela-Style-Advanced-Breast-Backpack/dp/B0011E75RK/sr=1-9/qid=1208965988/ref=sr_1_9/602-0017728-4799010?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Amedela&page=1
I just busted out my pills and it's called Fluconazole (it's the generic for Diflucan). Anyway, I only had to take 2 pills and it cleared up so fast. My doc prescribed me 4 pills in case it came back, and then I could just take them again. You should FOR SURE call your doctor and get a prescription for it. It works even better than the purple dye, says my doctor :) Good luck.
Oh, and I for sure got a clogged duct AGAIN in both my nipps yesterday. After reading Melissa's comment about the abcess I'm a little freaked out. I seriously get clogged ducts several times a week! What the H!
Kristen, Thanks for the name. Im calling for sure. Melissa's story is pretty terrible huh?! She is such a strong lady.
Pam, Are you planning on pumping more than nursing? If so, that is a good one but it is expensive. My advice would be to wait and see how you and your boobs and the babe plays out. You might need a nice big one, you might not. Plus you can always borrow till you can get what you need. But, I guess they are always nice to have....
jaesi, I'm sorry you're having these problems. Sounds awful, but I can't relate yet. to answer so of the questions you've left on my blog: Mark is from Oregon and we met at BYU. Will is living in St. George and He has 3 kids now. The youngest was born about six months ago.
Poor girl! The things we go through for our babies! With both kids I had what they call "rusty pipe" syndrome and had blood in my milk for the first few weeks. All the nurses especially in the NICU told me to still feed it to them and that it won't harm that at all. They still get all of the nutrients and stuff that they need. I know it seems gross, but hey. It surely is liquid gold. I know how hard it is to dump (I have gotten use to it though). I can pump way more than Dylan needs, so I do that often. I should donate it or something. Anyway, as far as a nice electric pump...call me and I can tell you how you can get the Ameda purely yours dual electric pump for $100.00!!! I got it and love it. I know this doesn't help you, but the pump kit they give to you in the hospital here fits with this pump. Best bargain I've found! I think it is usually about $300.00.
AHHHHh I can totally feel the agonizing pain right now! whew I remember all to clearly those lovely days where the milk I pumped looked more like strawberry flavored than the usual vanilla! OWWWEEE I'm sorry Jaesi! Sometimes it's just not fair everything that we go through for these little people. It's just a dang good thing that they are so yummy and cute! Good luck! Just know I feel your pain!
Oh I am so sorry. All my girlfriends whose babies had thrush used the purple stuff to get rid of it. I am not sure what it is called, but I could find out if you like. Also, Is the blood from cracking or is it in your milk? I am confused. Either way The nipple shield works wonders. I feel terrible that you are having such a rough time. Good luck.
Holy Crap, nursing sucks, doesn't it? But how else can you lose that much weight, that quickly? It's about the ONLY reason I suffer through it. Good luck...as you well know, it will get better :) Cute baby!!
Hey jaesi..wow..the last time I saw you we were are at the mall in st. george and you were prego with your little boy. time has flown by and your kids are to die for. well we just joined the blogging world n im still tryin to get the hang of it, but yours is too cute! if you ever talk to shells tell her i say hi! heres my blog address if you ever want to visit: dougndre@msn.com
You have a a lot of great advice! Definitely take the Diflucan it is great! I had to use that with Raylie and the thrush cleared up pretty quick!
Have you tried using A&D ointment? I was told by a PA (Dennis Mitchell) to use it when I was nursing Raylie. Put it on in between feedings/pumping then wipe it off before you nurse. It has Vit E which is great for healing and it worked great for me. Since Ray;ise wasn't a big night time eater I would just slather it on before bed and let it work all night!
If you can get your hands on a double Medulla pump..do it because they are great! I love mine!
Hopefully they toughen up quick! Good luck!
TWO WORDS: NIPPLE SHIELD
http://www.target.com/Medela-Contact-Nipple-Shields-Small/dp/B000YQMWLU/sr=1-1/qid=1209061620/ref=sr_1_1/602-7547530-6890260?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Anipple%20shield&page=1
tried that anonymous....but thanks anyway.....
Oh man... this brings back soooooooo many horrible memories of nursing Ammon! And I am with Stacy- I also have the Ameda Purely Yours and LOVE IT! I also had to use a nipple shield for a while and if it is fitted to you by the hospital it will help sooooooooooo much. But if you just buy one and if it is too big- OUCH! Good luck, I think most of us can feel your pain!
Jaesi, I had the same problem only not from thrush. I had one side that just wouldn't tuffen up and I bled constantly for like 6 months. There were so many times I just wanted throw in the towel but like you I would be damned if I was going to stop nursing!! Keep on hopefully it will get better for you!
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